BaptistMemes - The Independent Funny Baptist

On November 9, 2016, Donald Trump was elected President of the United States of America. Christians nationwide rejoiced, as Hillary "Antichrist" Clinton was beaten in a seemingly hopeless race. Angels danced on pins when swing states Ohio's and Florida's electoral votes went to the Republican contender. 

Famous TV evangelists taking I Corinthians out of context hailed the candidate as the Last Trump, to usher in a new age of Christian theocracy or something.

While winning, the President-Elect did not usher in the Second Coming of Christ as previously predicted.

Massive revivals broke out which turned into riots as the news spread of the failure of Trump to herald Jesus Christ. The riots lasted until it was time for lunch, which dissipated into the various buffets.

We interviewed one of the rioters, who refused to be named.

"I don't know, man. I was really hoping for the Don to blow the last trumpet so we can be raptured. Maybe he isn't actually the Last Trump, but probably one of those seven trumpets in Revelation," he quipped. "That means Trump is probably not a Pretribulational, but a Post-trib or even Midtribulational..."

In other news, evangelists say when Mike Pence becomes President, he will pay off the trillions of debt accrued by the federal government and dismantle welfare according to the Synoptic Gospels. 

The end times is nigh? Here are 3 reasons why Hurricane Matthew is a sign of the end.

Isn't it coincidental that the hurricane was named after Matthew IN THE BIBLE? Wow! Mind-blown! What other names are in the Bible? I don't know.... Mark, Luke, John, David, Samuel, Isaac, Jacob,  etc. Basically every common English name we have is from the Bible! I mean, that never happens!

Do you see the resemblance? The resemblance between the newscaster and the grim reaper? Do you?

A little, but the storm sure does look like a skull, too. Bet you didn't notice that. This definitely never happens with storm pictures or clouds or toast or smoke. This is why the storm is a sign of the end.

It is October 7, 2016. Hurricane Matthew has made landfall. October 7 is also 10/7. So putting that together, we get Matthew 10:7!

Matthew 10:7 KJV
7 And as ye go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand.

Cause that totally means Hurricane Matthews is the sign of the end! Picking out of context verses and matching them up to date numbers!

There you go. Three reasons why Hurricane Matthews is the sign of the end coming soon! Tell your friends!

Editor's Note: If you don't get the satire yet, it's not. Yes, in the last days there shall be wars and rumor of wars... But to single out a single storm? Illogical.

It has been long suspected that West Coast Baptist College is probably part of the global conspiracy called the ILLUMINATI. All evidence leads to this fact! It's also on the internet, so it is true!



Entering their campus during YOUTH CONFERENCE, one will see many triangles interspersed in the surroundings. People think triangles are harmless, BUT THEY ARE NOT. TRIANGLES ARE ILLUMINATI SYMBOLS!

Here we see PROBABLY mind controlled youths throwing out hand signs from the secret society like Beyonce and Jay-Z. Beyonce and Jay-Z also did hand signs and we all know that they are part of the ILLUMINATI. They also have been to Hollywood, Where is Hollywood? THAT'S RIGHT, CALIFORNIA! Where West Coast is.

Speaking of HOLLYWOOD, West Coast Baptist College is only an hour away! That gives plenty of time for the ILLUMINATI to go back and forth from their stronghold in Los Angeles.

You know what LOS ANGELES is, DON'T YOU? LOS ANGELES means "The Angels". You know what the Illuminati means? It means "Illuminated Ones". What are illuminated ones? ANGELS. This further cements the fact that WCBC is part of the ILLUMINATI.

There are two All-Seeing Eye pyramids on the side of a mountain. Notice how the lights illuminate the triangular structure like eyes. This obviously symbolizes the triumph of the ILLUMINATI. The symbolism is all there! 

Wake up, sheeple! This internet article obviously proves that the Baptist college in Lancaster, California is part of the ILLUMINATI. 

A Pentecostal church livestream is still mistaken as an example of the viral internet challenge, the Harlem Shake, a couple years after the trend has subsided.

While some Harlem Shake videos last a few minutes by the duration of the song, the Pentecostal livestream stretched for even hours, raising some alarm with the viewers.

"Something was off," an anonymous viewer said. "Harlem Shake videos aren't these long.That's when I knew it was not one."

The 2013 viral challenge was based on the Harlem Shake song from 2012, which was based on a dance from 1981 in the city of the same name.